So I guess it never does end....

.... motherhood, or at least the feelings of wanting to protect, shield from hurt, 'make it better'. It matters not, I have just learned, whether your child is 3, or 30 ~ the overwhelming urge to shelter them from hurt, to make it right, is always there. One cannot will it away, it doesn't work like that. One cannot rationalize it away ~ because when it comes to one's child, the heart wins over the mind, hands down... it's just a fact of life.

My daughter is a very successful, very independent, and extremely intelligent young lady of whom I am enormously proud. Frequently throughout my life I have said to others that my daughter is my greatest achievement, corny as that may sound. It is the truth however. This is not to say she does not have her failings ~ don't we all (me, most especially), but in recognizing this, it does not, however, take away from the depth of my love for her, nor my pride in her, nor does it diminish how much I truly like and respect her.

Now for the reason I am penning my thoughts. It is presently 7:50 p.m. Saturday night in Firenze, Italia as I type this, and tomorrow morning Kris will be once again winging her way back home. As she wrote in one of her blog entries a few days passed:

So, I was feeling sad about leaving here even before my flight left YVR. I know I should live in the moment, but for those who know me, know that I am a planner and that I plan everything -- even the sadness I know I will have when I will be leaving Italy.

I get it.... so much so that my heart has felt like it is breaking, and the tears have continually pricked, since reading these words a few days ago. That is what this blog entry is about.... it matters not that she is 30 years old and undoubtedly is already planning her next visit. As I type this there is a tear on my right cheek, another brimming and about to fall onto my left.... because you see, I can't 'make it better'. And it is not for me to even try, no matter how much I want to. There are times, when motherhood is painful beyond words....

One of those times is now....

Thanks for listening.